Women of all ages continuously come into my life and want to begin to make change in their life. I am often asked “how do I begin my change?” or “where do I start?” or “what is one of the first signs that let me know now is the time for change?”
My response is generally quite long winded and detailed… but really, how can I possibly sum up the process for life transformation in a few short breaths! There is no single solution to this question. There is no quick fix. At the end of the day, there is really only one answer.
If you are genuinely wanting to change your life, then you have to do the work to make that happen.
Over the past several months I have had the privilege to witness a dear friend dive head first into one of the most inspiring personal transformations story’s I have gratefully been part of. Many of our conversations have been through messaging, talking on the phone, or over a handful of lunch dates. We have spent hours asking and reflecting on the big questions of how exactly does one’s life change and what steps does one take. Both of us have shared that we have gone through many processes of transformation over our lifetime, but to truly step into the power of ourself and embark on our own authentic womanhood is a whole other journey. And while we have each taken our own journey and unique path to get where we are today, we recognize we share one common factor. We each have done the work required to arrive where we are right now.
It All Comes Down To Turning Inward
The work towards change is not about making things happen, taking excessive action, or overcoming all your fears in one go. The work is an inward journey that is faced with patience, gentleness, and love.
When we dig deep and courageously open our heart inward, we begin clearing the heavy stuff that stands between where we are and where we want to be. We begin to peel away an onion-like load of work, each layer offering it’s own complexities. The inner negative feeling. The limiting beliefs. The unsupportive stories. The disempowering self talk. The self-destructive habits. The fear. The doubt. The dishonest with oneself. The past you.
This process is not about labeling the different aspects of yourself as bad and doing your best to get rid of any of them. It is quite the opposite. It is about accepting them, loving them, and releasing them. It is about forgiving yourself for holding on to a bundle of low frequency vibrations – aka negativity or small self talk – for far too long and letting them go because they do not serve who you are and want to be. Who you are is constantly changing from past, present, towards future. This is true when talking years, months, weeks, days, and even minutes. You are constantly changing.
The work is unique to each of us. It is intimate and personal. It is priceless and beautiful. It is purposeful and meaningful. There are lessons to be learned. Truths to be remembered. This journey is about discovering who you really are and letting go of anything else that is no longer that.
The answers lie inside the work that you are willing to put into yourself, no where else.
Get To Know Yourself
So, where do you start? Start by getting to know who you are by practicing new spiritual, physical, emotional, and social experiences. Practice a bit of courage and let go of comfort. Turn inwards, reflect, and find out who you are throughout these new experiences. Do the work to let go of all of the stories you have been telling yourself over the years and discover your true potential through the discomfort you are exposing yourself to.
I have used many different practices over the past seventeen years, which have facilitated my peeling back of the layers of false illusions so that I could discover my truth, connect with my heart, and live out my passions.
I have exercised intensively, meditated, received life coaching, attended spiritual retreats, worked with energetic healers, read book after book after book. I have practiced affirmations, invested money into attending personal development programs, seen psychics, practiced massage, yoga, and reiki. I have tried a lot of diets, prayed, begged and surrendered.
Through this whole time, there has been one practice that has been a consistent and ongoing practice throughout my journey.
I have journaled.
If in doubt, just start writing in a journal.
I began journaling when I was about 22 years old. I used a .doc titled Matters of the Heart. I used this running document as an attempt to process the loneliness and loss of identity I felt in being married. As I matured, so did my writing. When I began the process of divorce eight years later, this document became my crutch, my lifesaver, my support. It was the one place I would turn to whenever I was experiencing the challenges of what I felt was very scary at that time. It was and is a place where I can be 100% honest, imperfect, vulnerable, and a complete mess if I like.
As I have traveled along my journey of releasing many of my limitations and discovering my truth, journaling has enabled me to document this empowering transformation.
Journaling has allowed me to create clarity, to self-reflect, to process my emotions, to make sense of my thoughts, and to reconnect with the loving and supportive voice inside of myself.
So, if you are ready to start doing the work, buy yourself a little gorgeous journal or open yourself a blank document and get to work.
If you are not sure where to start, you can sign up for the free, Finding Your Why Guide or dive in deeper and commit to this 21-day Letting Go of the Old Journaling Ebook. If you’d like to share anything with me, please do not hesitate to contact me and I will get back to you with encouragement loaded with love.